11 February 2011

Quarter Life Crisis

I'd be lying if I said that, at less-than-a-month-shy-of-26, this was my first quarter life crisis.  I'm probably on about three or four.  At least.

The Problem: I'm 3 months away from my Master's in education and I don't want to be a teacher.  Or maybe I do, but not today.  Today I just want to do something fun and pretty.  Something that won't leave me feeling totally defeated and drained at the end of the week.  Something that, at the very least, I don't dread.

The Cause: I had my first observation today.  And my supervisor talked down to me and told me I had it All Wrong and that I need to spend the weekend Making It Right.  I'm not saying that I felt awesome about student teaching before this, because I didn't.  But I was making it.  Now I just want to throw in the towel, 2009-style.

The Solution: To be honest, I'm not really sure.  My short-term solution is to eat Doritos and watch last night's Vampire Diaries in bed.  Hopefully I'll wake up tomorrow with my game face on and just do the damn thing.  Or maybe I'll need to eat croutons and watch Easy A in bed.  idk, idk.

Tell me about your impending, current, or past quarter life crisis.  Any advice for those of us in the thick of it?

7 comments:

  1. :(

    my best advice for you - HAVE FUN. if you are having fun (even if it seems impossible) the students will take something away. What grade are you student teaching? trust me that it gets easier with your own classroom. kids have been with their teacher for the last 6 months or so then a new, fresh teacher comes in that has never done it before, has no routine, etc. and the kids expect you to be like their other teacher. its hard but the best thing you can do is follow what your teacher now is doing and make it fun. get through these next few months and you'll be alright.

    i taught preschool (4/5 year olds) and i wanted to give up SO MUCH but after a few months my co-teacher went out on surgery and i was the main teacher. i never felt better about teaching in my life after that experience. i had my own style, the kids got to know me one on one without having to deal with another teacher with another style. we bonded in a way that we couldn't before. as a student teacher, you missed out on the bonding so the kids are judging you a lot as well as all of your professors. if the kids are walking away with a good experience and something new, you are doing a good job, regardless of what anyone else tells you.

    please hang in there. you are so sweet and so smart - you will make an amazing teacher <3

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  2. you lived through my quarter-life crisis on lj! to refresh your memory, i was working at b&n (the second one, closer to my house), hated it, started dreading going into work everyday and got to the point where i had to call out sick three days in a row because i was so freaked out about going to work at ALL. then i took a leave of absence for a few months (which turned into forever), had some therapy and decided to go back to school for four years.

    i was unhappy with where i was at, and i knew i would never get out - and i think that's what prompted my 'crisis'. i was only at that store for three months, maybe four. . . i think you need to give it a little more time before you throw in the towel. you are better than that! and i have no teaching experience whatsoever, but i'm super super sure that you totally have what it takes, and that you will rock it. but i totally encourage the wallowing in it weekend, with snacks and whatever guilty pleasures you need to make yourself feel better about it all.

    <3!!

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  3. First, I think that's a pretty terrible way for your supervisor to give you a a review about how you're doing.

    Second, my only advice is, at this point, to stick it out for three months until you graduate, and then decide what you're looking for. You're too invested to just quit 3 months away from a diploma, and I think it can open up other doors for you in the future.

    You'll get through this!

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  4. OMG Ella, I can SO relate! Mine came a little later...more like an early mid-life crisis. But, yes - I've been there. I agree with Stacy about finishing up your last three months. Even if you don't use that particular degree, just the fact that you have it, can open up doors.

    My best advice is:
    Be kind to yourself. Trust that the time you spent on this degree was worth it. Even if you don't teach, this experience will benefit you.

    Be gentle with yourself. Know that whatever choices you make as far as a career is concerned, can be just a short-term option. You can make changes as you go along. There is no rush.

    Nurture yourself. Remember the things that have always brought you joy. Do more of these things. Go where you are drawn. You'll figure out the rest.

    All my best to you, sweetie!
    XO Piper

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  5. Piper!! I'm so glad that you're back - I've missed you! Thanks for the advice. I definitely am not going to quit school.. I've spent too much time and money on it to not get my dang degree now! It's just frustrating.. but I know it will be over soon :) xox!!

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  6. First, I agree. And after talking with some of my classmates who ALSO have her as an advisor, I think she just doesn't like me. whateverrrrrrrrrr.

    Second, I wouldn't quit this close to being done but MY GOD wouldn't it make things easier? ;) Temporarily, of course. It's hard enough to get a job without a Master's hah.

    Thanks for your input, ma'am. I do appreciate everyone's concern :]

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  7. Jess you are absolutely one of my favorite people. Thank you so much for your reassurance.. teaching can be SO HARD sometimes, I don't know how people do it for 20+ years. I'm with 7th graders right now, but will be moving to an 11th/12th classroom mid-March. Right now I think that fact that I'm basically a guest in someone else's classroom is what I'm having the most trouble with.. I have to play by their rules but I'm still expected to churn out this brilliant shit. My friend Erika said it perfectly - "It's like someone said, 'Here, you can have my boyfriend for a while to learn what it's like to be in a relationship, but make sure he's somewhat improved when I get him back because I'll be grading you,' and then that boyfriend expects you to follow all the same routines and norms as the first girl."
    IT'S JUST NOT NATURAL.

    but anywayyyyy, I'm finally sending you & Kyra some mail before Saturday. lovelove!

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